Limericks
TRUB Limericks?
It's true, it's true! We TRUBsters are not only brewers, but poets too! We put out the call for original limericks to be read at our Holiday meeting/party in December 2000, and here are the results....
by Dave Green
I've had some problems with enzymes,
When mashing for extended times.
Another endeavor
that takes almost forever
Is finding a word that rhymes.
by Dave Green
In the words of a practical man,
"I can tell custard from flan,
Making starters is tedious;
Brewing's highly expedious
With yeast from the top of the can."
by Dave Green
There once was a Kenyan named Gene,
Who had a pint at his local shabeen.
The changa wasn't quite lethal,
So he ordered a refill,
And swallowed it sight unseen.
Ode to TRUB
by Jim Buie
Pour it, pass it, fill your cup
Now on your mark, lets drink it up
Sniff it, taste it, get ready to hear
Brother Dave say " Tell us about this beer"
Was it strong, clear, bitter, or bad
Might be the best beer I've had
Now lets go back and brew some more
And come back next month, ready to pour
by Dave Bunning
Brewing effects can sometimes calm you
A good beer can help turn dark skies blue
But then some will measure
Every smallest endeavor
Forgetting to relax, not worry and have a homebrew
by Dave Bunning
I tried to make a blueberry ale
But in my attempt I did miserably fail
Hey it was MY beer
So never did I fear
I drank it anyway...what the hail
by Dave Bunning
I knew that I'd be ad-libbin
My buddies all thought I was kiddin
Put in any malt I could find
Weird old hops off the vine
Wouldn't you know I won a blue ribbon
Cheap Beer by The Hammer
If it's brewski that you want the facts on
Consult the ol' chap Michael Jackson.
He'd be more a keeper
If he could make cheaper
The six packs that we pay sin tax on.
The Bane of Belgium by The Hammer
The hero of every homebrewer
is a Frenchman who goes by Pasteur.
His knowlegde of bugs
has improved many mugs
of Old Ale with the taste a sewer.
Headaches by The Hammer
A tripel from an abbey monk'll
rival the buzz from bock dunkel,
or a bock made of wheat,
even barley wine neat,
but an eisbock will make you cry uncle!
Ode to Lager by The Hammer
If you like the way lagers have gotten
Thank the Sedlmayer boys of Spaten.
Said Gabe, " It sure helps
To have caves in the Alps,
It helps make the bier clean, not rotten."
The Hydromiser by The Hammer
We were brewing at Hammers' one Sunday
Being watched over by hydromiser Andy.
He said without haste
"Hey! That's water you waste,
and they're dying of thirst in Barundi!"
A Hoppy Man by Bill Mendykav
At one time I made a fine brew,
that was crafted with hops that I grew.
The taste was intense,
with a strong resin sense,
and malt flavor pervading all through.
Can't wait 'til next hop crop is due,
so another new potion I'll stew,
that will match or exceed,
all the flavors, indeed,
that a Hophead expects in his brew.
Stout Stout by Bill Mendyka
Oh, a Stout is the best of a breed,
of dark beers that sustain one in need.
It imparts a warm feeling,
but sets the mind reeling,
if too many are quaffed without heed.
The Sage by Bill Mendyka
An old homebrewer always partakes,
of whatever a new brewer makes.
And he'll offer advice,
when the beer's not that nice,
but drinks up if it's got what it takes.